When we try hard to discern God’s will and then proceed with what we perceive as his guidance only to meet with failure, we understandably get lost in confusion. We wonder: “What happened? Why didn’t this work out? I was following God. I was trusting God. And he led me into disaster! But this is not God’s nature; perhaps I’m projecting onto him what a human has done to misguide me. Or is it my fault? Did I misinterpret his guidance?” More confusion.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
In the previous chapter, I shared the story of how Ralph and I built our house despite many obstacles. But there was one more coming straight at us, unexpected, devastating. It hit us just days before the closing date for the new house, just a couple of days before moving in. Ralph got laid off from work.
Huh? How could that happen? Where was God’s protection? I don’t understand. The timing couldn’t be worse.
The bank’s loan officer asked for proof of Ralph’s employment right after he lost the job. God could have made him ask beforehand, so why didn’t he? Now the loan officer found out about the loss of income, and the bank would not grant us a mortgage. Then we’d be stuck with a big construction loan and no house for it.
It looked like Father God was standing in the doorway of our new house, arms crossed, like a big, bully bouncer at a night club, telling us, “No, you can’t get in.” And it felt like God was towering over Ralph saying, “No, you can’t have this job anymore.” And there was no changing his mind. No way for Ralph to get his job back, no way to find a new job in time to save the house.
Sometimes we misinterpret the sternness of the Father as meanness. Like he’s a bully and he’s scowling at us no matter how well we behave. This happens because, when we were children, our human parents seemed very mean to us when in firm sternness they rightfully disciplined us. In truth, Abba-Father’s sternness comes from his authority, and like any king, what he says from his position of authority is what matters. It is not to be debated.
However, it’s also true that Abba-Father, unlike many human parents, actually delights in us when we question him. This is appropriate in a healthy father-child relationship as long as the child is not questioning his authority but genuinely wants to learn and the parent has time and patience for it.
Abba-Father is always watching out for us, always planning what is good for us. It is much more beneficial for us that he applies his kingly authority for our sake, in the implementation of his plans, than it is to have to manage things on our own. If this is what we really want, then we’ll discover the secret to living in the joy and peace of being under God’s authority. It’s a simple as one, two, three:
- We give Father God the benefit of the doubt.
- We choose to trust him.
- And then we relax knowing that he’s got everything under control even when things look chaotic.
As Ralph and I faced the huge losses of good employment and the house we had just finished building, we turned to God in prayer, still reeling from shock. The prayer was short and straight from the heart: “Help! What do we do now?”
Our Good Father did not delay his response. He told me, “Ralph’s lay-off is an answer to your many prayers begging me to free him from the huge stress of working for that company.”
My reply: “So this is my fault then?”
I thought about my daily prayers spanning several years, asking for Ralph to be delivered from the job that made him miserable. “But now, Lord? You chose now to set him free from this suffering? I had expected You to help him find a replacement job. It would be much better, You know, to move him from one job to the next without a gap in time and income.”
Of course, God did know that — and more, much more about the situation. For reasons we would only later find out, it was better for Ralph to retire early. But it was too soon to know this. The confusion continued.
God also knew that there was no need to panic. The loan officer called back and asked about my income. It was, when combined with Ralph’s retirement 401k fund, enough to grant us the mortgage. We’d have to cut back on other expenses, but we could afford to keep the house.
Our new prayer became: “Dear Lord, help Ralph find a new job before his severance package runs out.” God answered this prayer even though he knew that it would be better for Ralph to retire now. The new job start exactly when the severance package ended. God’s perfect timing (though we had wanted it sooner).
And then, two years later, he was laid off from this company too. And thus began his early retirement, which enabled him to help me with the responsibilities of caring for my elderly parents. Soon after, a checkup with the doctor revealed a problem with his heart. The stresses of working in the fast-paced corporate world could have killed him.
The origins of our confusion
Felisha felt very confused when God’s guidance led her to a job she didn’t get.
“I had what I thought was an excellent opportunity,” she says, “for a full time job with many perks. The greatest perk would have been that my husband and I could live together all of the time instead of only on weekends. I did not want the job, but it was a good opportunity, so I discussed it with my husband and I took it before the Lord.”
She waited on the Lord and prayed and sought his will. “During my prayer times, I received many confirmations from the Word of God assuring me that the battle was the Lord’s, etc. My trust and faith in God were at the highest point. I did my best to prepare for the exam that was required for getting the job. I took it very seriously, trusting that God would make the impossible possible.”
When it came time for the test, “I failed miserably. Even though I was the only candidate who sat for the exam, I did not get the job. Since then, I don’t know how to discern God’s will for me. My prayer life has really suffered and I feel horribly let down by God. When I think about trusting him, I tell myself, ‘Don’t be too sure that he’s going to keep his word.’ A horrible experience! It was such an ordeal and so humiliating.”
Often, confusion originates with the idea that we have understood his guidance correctly, when in fact we did not. Listen to the example of Jeannette’s and Gerald’s story:
Jeannette shares, “After living in one city for 27 years, my husband and I decided he would take a promotion within the company he worked for, although it would require him to move to another city. The good points were that we were going to be empty nesters in two years and we looked forward to new adventures in a different area, plus my husband would have a new challenge for several years before he retired, plus one of the places he would travel to was our hometown where both of our aging parents still lived. All of these things sounded good to us.”
In trying to discern God’s will, she says, “We talked to our youngest son who was a sophomore in high school. Since he had lived here his entire life, had long-time classmates and friends and was on the basketball team at school, if he vehemently objected we would not make the move. As it turned out, he thought it would be exciting to meet new friends and get onto one of the five basketball teams of this new and larger parochial high school. So my husband accepted the job and we made plans to move. We put our home on the market and house-hunted in the new city. When Spring arrived, my son was treated to a going-away party by his basketball team.”
Then came the confusion. “Our home was not selling and I could not find one in the new city that met our criteria. There had been one possibility: We found a builder who had a lot that we liked. But as time passed, the lot was sold to someone else. Then, in addition to the housing situation not working out in a timely manner, we needed to pay a large non-refundable deposit to the parochial high school that my son would attend for his junior year.”
Not knowing what else to do, Gerald asked his company if he could accept the new position right away but delay moving for two years until their son would graduate from high school. They agreed.
Jeannette says, “In light of these disharmonious things, we asked God for clarity as to how we should proceed. We finally told God that if our home sold before the school deposit was due, we’d put the deposit down in the new city, taking the sale of our house as a “go-ahead” sign from him. If it did not sell we would stay back for two years and let our son graduate from his current high school. As it turned out, our home did not sell. We told our son about the situation. His reaction was a bit of a surprise to us. He was glad that we would not be moving. He said he got to thinking about how he’d miss his friends and everything else in his current situation. However, he did not tell us because he did not want to ruin his dad’s opportunity. Now he was glad of our change of plans and looked forward to staying put.”
Eventually the realtor that Jeannette and Gerald had used in the new city called to report that the builder’s lot they had liked so much had become available. The person who was going to build on it had a job change and could no longer do it.
“Are you interested?” the realtor asked. The only problem she saw with it was that it would take about a year to build the house after everything was approved. Jeannette and Gerard were pleased; this was not a problem at all. They saw it as God’s timing and thanked him. As it turned out, there were “snags” along the way that delayed the building process, and the house was not completed until their son went off to college. God’s perfect timing had guided the plan and he protected Jeannette and Gerard from making a mistake even while they were unaware of his help.
Often our confusion comes from projecting our own assumptions or hopes into whatever God is trying to say and do. This happens to me. My thoughts are rich with ideas, and if I don’t hear Abba-Father fast enough or clearly enough, my brain fills in the blanks.
To counter this, I have found this prayer to be very helpful: “Abba-Father, renew me in your Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, increase in me the desire and energy to do ____ if it is the Father’s Divine Will. If it is not Your will, or not at this time, then whenever I think about proceeding with it, drain me of energy and remove from me the desire to do it.” After that, I have to pay attention to my energy level.
Here’s a true example of how this works: Before starting this book, the Holy Spirit Energy Prayer increased my energy and ideas and desire so much that eventually the book overtook my busy schedule. I just had to take time off for it.
On other occasions, when I begin to implement a plan and I feel lethargic about it, my first inclination is to force myself to do it anyway just to get it done — in the name of self-discipline. But this, I’ve learned, is usually the wrong response. I need to trust the lack of energy as an answer to the Holy Spirit Energy Prayer.
A lack of energy could have other causes, too. As a fail-safe measure, I ask Abba-Father to give me a divine push in the right direction if I’m misunderstanding his guidance.
We also need to consider that our Enemy might be interfering. When I began editing the final draft of this book, I lost all energy and inspiration for chapter two. So I did the Holy Spirit Energy Prayer but that did not work. Finally I tried some spiritual warfare prayers. I sent “any demons who are interfering” to the foot of the Cross of Jesus to be covered by his blood. That worked! The energy and inspiration began to flow again.
(Note: Do not attempt to handle demons without proper training, except for using the basic tools that the Jesus has given us through the Church, such as holy water, the Rosary, and repeating the name Jesus out loud.)
Why does God allow us to get confused?
God blesses our confusions. It’s part of the humbling process of realizing that our understanding of God’s guidance is tainted by the limitations of our perceptions. Confusion is a sign that we’re getting mixed messages and we cannot sort out which is the Father’s voice. Not until we repent of choosing for ourselves what we think God “should” do. And perhaps also repenting of other sins, because our sins give the devil permission to confuse us.
Our confusion is worsened by:
- The half-truth messages of fear (for example, “What if I don’t get a new job? We’ll end up losing our house!”). The cure: Ask the Holy Spirit to help you identify the lie that the fear is telling you, so that you can realize the opposite, the truth that the Father is revealing.
- Resentment toward people who contributed to the problem (“I got laid off because the manager above me was prejudiced against me. It’s his fault.”). The cure: Forgive them.
- Anger because we did not get what we wanted. Mix this with pride and it’s a very hard confusion to overcome. The cure: Forgive God and accept responsibility for misinterpreting his guidance or, when appropriate, for persevering until his full plan is viewable in hindsight.
This is why we should not try to discern God’s will on our own. God values one-on-one interaction with us, but he also wants to clarify and confirm his plans through others. A spiritual director or counselor or a community of Christ-centered, Spirit-filled friends can help us get pointed in the right direction when we need the extra help — especially when our personal prayer time does not bring clarity and we need to make a decision without further delay, or when we can make every effort to discern God’s will correctly and we still remain confused.
Even while we are in a state of confusion, we can relax in the security of knowing that Abba-Father is with us and cares very much about us. It helps to remember that God will make good come from everything — including confusion. The question is not: “Why is God confusing me?” Rather, the true question is: “What does God want me to learn from this?” Confusion turns into peaceful joy when we discover the answer to this one.
Think of confusion as a grey fog covering the path that you’re traveling. You’re on the right path, but you can’t see how everything is already in place ahead of you, right where they need to be. The fog hides the trees and flowers that make the journey beautiful. It hides the cottage that the Father has provided for shelter. It hides the destination that he wants you to reach. They are all just beyond your view.
Nor can you see the fork in the road. You’ve asked for Abba’s protection from wrong decisions. Therefore, he’s directing your feet in the right direction, and although the left side of the fork is where you think you should be headed, he’s got you going up the right side of the fork. Something about this doesn’t seem right, and the fog makes this feeling turn scary. But really it is very good!
Then you crash into a hard wall. You didn’t see yourself headed toward it. It’s God’s protection preventing you from going the wrong way! However, this might not become visible to you until later, when you can look back.
In the journey of following Abba-Father through the fog of confusion, we are being tested and tried. The test is for our benefit. We learn from it just how much our trust in the Father has grown (or not).
I often joke, “God, you duped me, and I allowed myself to be duped.”
God “duped” me into wanting a priest-friend to become the first chaplain of Good News Ministries. We later discovered that he was emotionally and ministerially handicapped by alcoholism. Both of his parents had been alcoholic, and he had become an alcoholic himself. Abba-Father knew that we would never have invited him to move to Florida if, during our 20 years of prior friendship, we had discovered his alcoholism and understood the effects of codependency. Abba-Father also knew how much more effective in helping others I would become after learning how to deal with our friend’s problems.
I could also say that Abba-Father “duped” us into moving from New Jersey to Florida in order to start this ministry in 1995. We had no idea about this plan. We thought we were moving just to get away from snow and high taxes. It was a good “duping” but it changed our lives in more ways than we had been able to predict.
In 1994, Ralph and I had served on the core team of a different Good News Ministries. The New Jersey group planned a week-long evangelization school for our parish, to be held in November. To our surprise, we never got to be part of that great event. Instead, God inspired our family to move to Florida. This was very confusing.
The Holy Spirit energized us with a desire to move. At first, we tried to find a new house in the same town. We envisioned staying in our beloved parish and continuing with the New Jersey School of Evangelization. Remember what I said earlier about God being a good Father who protects us from going in wrong directions? There were many forks in the fogged-filled path that he put us on. It was all very confusing, but gradually the inexplicable desire to sell our house pushed us farther and farther south until we landed in Florida.
On January 30, 1995, we found ourselves in a restaurant near our new home, standing in front of Charlie Osburn, the man who had trained the New Jersey team. He had come here to give a seminar. (Was this timing and location just a coincidence?) Recognizing us, he pointed out to us a core team that the Lord had already put together for a Good News Ministries of Tampa Bay. The new ministry was still only a dream and a prayer for these people. They had been praying the Rosary for two years asking God to provide leaders.
Charlie asked, “Will you be those leaders?” We said yes and questioned our sanity because we had seen the work that goes into this.
Our Wise Father knew that we would have said “no” if Charlie had invited us to start Good News Ministries of Tampa Bay while we still lived in New Jersey.
God often confirms his guidance through circumstances. Be on the alert! When situations happen outside of your control, God is planning something good that seems (at first) very confusing. Ride it out. Keep praying. Trust your Wise Father. Even if the devil is behind the confusing, God is allowing it so that he can humiliate the devil by raising you up in an awesome, better-than-expected plan.
As Gift Nyirenda says, “We prefer to control our destiny, forgetting God’s role and hand in all of this. God never has a plan of fear, pain, and suffering for us. Jesus Christ took it all on the Cross then opened a way for us to reconcile ourselves to God through an advocate, the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit speaks to us, all we need to do is cooperate.”
Today’s Exercise: Journey from confusion to blessings
We gain new spiritual strength only through a process that at times is too confusing to understand. This growth happens not by God making everything easy but by us responding to God’s invitation to walk through the difficulties with him. We need to remember this when we want to run away from the confusion or away from God for apparently causing the confusion. Our Good Father wants us to walk with him through the grey fog all the way to the blessings that he knows are waiting for us. He’s inviting us to a more intimate Father-child relationship.
Saint Theodora Guerin knew this. She said, “The way is not yet clear. Grope along slowly. Do not press matters; be patient, be trustful. With Jesus, what shall we have to fear?” As you meditate on this, remember that Jesus takes us to the Father. Jesus reveals the Father to us. So, we can rightfully say, “With the Father, what shall I have to fear?”
To us the fog looks like a curse. A hardship to get rid of. But to our Good Father, it’s an adventure of journeying hand-in-hand. He sees what’s ahead. He wants to make sure that we don’t miss it! Think of him like a treasure hunter who has memorized the treasure map. Just keep clinging to his hand. Keep going. With Abba-Father at your side, you’ll reach the treasures that he’s very eager to give you.
The Bible shows countless evidence that God rejoices in this Father-child partnership. The prophet Elisha required Naaman to wash himself seven times in the Jordan River to be healed of leprosy. (See 2 Kings 5.) The idea confused Naaman so much that he almost didn’t do it. He had expected Elisha to call upon his God, wave his hand, and provide an instant cure. When he didn’t get what he expected, he got hot-headed angry. Fortunately, his servants convinced him to give it a try. (They were the community God spoke through to get Naaman pointed in the right direction when he needed the extra help.) After he accepted his own part in the plan and cooperated with the instructions, he received his healing.
It’s not as if Elisha wasn’t able to provide an instant healing. In 2 Kings 6, he said one short prayer and all the soldiers of the enemy were blinded (verse 18). Later, he said another short prayer and they were all instantly healed (verse 20).
Why then did God, through Elisha, want Naaman to journey through confusion before reaching his cure?
In John 9:1-7, Jesus healed a blind man by spitting on the ground and making a mud paste with his saliva. I’ll bet this man was confused by this at least just a little, huh? Jesus applied the mud to the man’s eyes and then instructed him to wash it off in the Pool of Siloam. Only after complying with Jesus’ strange way of dealing with it did he receive his healing.
At other times, Jesus healed people with only a word or a gesture. Why did Jesus give this particular man something to do first? Because the Father had a special plan for him. The Bible does not give us the follow-up story; we can only guess at what God had in mind for him. Perhaps this very intimate encounter with Jesus set him on the path of becoming an evangelizer who could heal people’s hearts when they were doubting that God truly cares.
Abba-Father has gifted us with freedom, intelligence, and creativity to participate in what he is doing. He enjoys involving us in the process. At first we might suffer the uncertainty of traveling blindly on a fog-filled road. But it’s not because God delights in confusing us. It’s because there’s something to learn from it and he’s giving us the opportunity to discover it.
We learn more from mistakes than from easy successes.
In big problems, look for small blessings. Eventually you’ll be able to see huge blessings, but until then, look for the small clues about the Father’s helpful involvement. This will sustain you by bringing you relief and encouragement. Small blessings are seeds that Abba-Father has planted. Cultivate them.
Instead of focusing on what didn’t go right, take a deep breath, forgive God or yourself or whomever has triggered anger, frustration or doubt. And then ask the Holy Spirit to help you notice and identify any good that has come from the journey of walking through the trial. Be sure to look carefully enough to see the smallest of blessings. Small things often float past us like dust in the air around us, capturing our attention only when the light hits the particles from just the right angle.
What blessings can you identify from the confusing problem that has been on your mind while reading this chapter? Write them down.
* * *
Every one of these blessings is a seed that Abba-Father has planted for you. They will sprout and grow from the attention you give to them. Protect these seeds by looking at what you wrote today, and add more to the list as the days go by. Enrich the soil of your spiritual life by feeding your soul (for example, by daily Mass, monthly Confession, meditating on scriptures, studying Church teachings, listening to and singing along with praise and worship music, etc.)
Thus these small blessings will grow and gain strength. They will change the landscape of your life. In fact, the trial that was so frustrating will eventually evolve. The fog of confusion will lift. Although the journey might be long, you’ll finally see a scenario or a solution that’s better than what you had ever envisioned.
When Dawn retired from a career of 34 years in education, she was not ready to quit being a teacher. “I was still too young to retire,” she says about the confusion she felt. “But after a year of retirement, God put me in a place that was a blessing — working in a Catholic School. I love my second career! Don’t get me wrong, I loved my first career and cared for my students, but things had started to become a job, not fun or rewarding. I never expected to be where I am today. God knew all along that I would be blessed, happy and able to grow spiritually here. I will be forever grateful that he heard my disappointment about retiring and granted me the job I currently have.”
The cure for confusion
Abba-Father does not enjoy putting us through the torments of confusion. He gave us a way out. We can see an illustration of this in Acts 1:7-8 (NIV). When Jesus was ready to ascend to heaven, his disciples questioned him, trying to clear up their confusion about God’s plans. They asked him, “Lord, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now?”
He replied: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.”
Abba-Father’s authority is key here. We need to trust it. He doesn’t always clear up our confusion but he does always make clear his presence and his involvement. But we can only see it if we seek it.
More important than knowing what to expect is to know that God knows. One of my favorite mottos is: “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.”
God gives us whatever we need for doing our best and enjoying this earthly life in the most beneficial way. When we are confused, when we have unanswered questions, the Holy Spirit is our aid and our ally. The Holy Spirit is the divine authority of God activating his helpfulness in our journey of becoming more and more like Christ.
Jesus said that the Holy Spirit will teach us everything we need to know (see John 14:26). This does not mean that we become all-knowing; it means that we can trust the all-knowingness of God and safely believe that he will teach us what we need to know when we need to know it. His knowledge will assist us. And if it seems like he’s not helping us, it means that we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us understand how we are projecting onto the Father some human traits that seem to limit his help.
What if we find ourselves in a failure or in a troubling situation after trying to discern and follow God’s will? If we tried our best, we need to forgive ourselves and trust God: The journey is not over yet. And if the failure comes from our sinful decisions, we need to go to the Sacrament of Confession to receive God’s forgiveness too.
Examining where we went wrong can increase our confusion – at first. In truth, this is the path to peaceful joy. Instead of feeling bad about getting it wrong, we need to remind ourselves that, for as long as we live on earth, we’re imperfect interpreters of God’s will — and this is okay! God does not hold it against us. So why should we? All that really matters is that we try our best. And each day, our best becomes a little better than it was the day before. The Father is delighted with every little step we take in our wobbly walk closer to the innermost depths of his heart.
With God on our side, confusion is simply a temporary fog. We can peacefully wait for the Holy Spirit to teach us what we need to know at the time we need to know it. It rarely comes sooner because our Good Father is teaching us to trust him more.
If we don’t take this introspective route, confusion can become a tactic of the enemy. Paul told the Galatians: “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.” (Galatians 1:6-7 NIV)
Merry was born in Indonesia but, due to racism, she never liked being Indonesian. She says, “When I stayed in Australia for seven years, I loved every minute of it. I felt more at home there than I did back in Indonesia.” Then she fell in love with an Indonesian man. She describes how this caused confusion, which later led to many blessings: “The man I was about to marry needed to reside in Indonesia in order to continue his father’s business. Also, because he is the only son, his parents hoped he would take care of them in their old age.”
She continues: “Against all of my family’s advice, I decided to move back to Indonesia, the country I disliked. I gave up the bright future for my career and decided to help my new husband with his factory.” She chose love above her own wants.
“Well, things have not turned out as well as I expected,” she says. “During very difficult times, I have wondered if I made a mistake going back to Indonesia. Especially when I saw that all of my sisters in Australia are able to afford houses and cars while I am trying to save this struggling business.”
However, when she turned away from the sources of her confusion to find out what Abba-Father was doing, she realized that God has been blessing her with more important things, which money cannot buy. “I was blessed with two children, and through loving them and forgiving them, I learned so much from them. At the beginning, I thought children were a burden: more financial responsibility and more moral responsibility teaching them good human values. But now I often realize that the children are teaching me lots of wisdom. I’ve learned from them how to live in the now. I’ve learned from them how to forgive by seeing how they forgive me even after I was verbally mean to them. In loving them, I feel as if I am giving myself the love that I didn’t have much of during childhood. I have become a much better person because of them.”
Merry has described multiple big blessings. But that’s not all! She reports, “Being in Indonesia also means that I get to be closer to my parents. I didn’t have good relationships with them, but watching them try to love my difficult brother, I can forgive them for what they have done or have not done to me, because I can see that they have love. They just don’t know how to express their love because they didn’t receive much love from their parents either.”
And there’s more, Merry says, “Spiritually I feel that, by being put into very difficult and humbling situations, I learned to see things from the “poor beggar” point of view instead of judging people for not being as good as I assumed they should be.”
Then she notes, “I believe that I wouldn’t have learned so much if I had stayed in Australia and lived my own carefree life.”
Every day there is something to be confused about. Remember that no confusion is evidence that God doesn’t care. Or that God cares but we’re too blind to see it. It’s just an opportunity. Our Good Father always wants confusion to become a source of new blessings.
When anxiety, fear, and anger about the uncertainties of God’s guidance hide the blessings, it’s time to stop what we’re doing and sit still with the Lord. I’ve found that the best place for this is in church during Mass or during Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Here is where we are most closely connected to God. The Holy Spirit has greater access to our thought processes. It’s a place where we put our focus on Jesus, which removes our focus from the grey fog of confusion and the dark elements in it that frighten us.
Clarity arises from this change of focus. Even in the continued unknowing of a challenging situation, we more clearly understand that Abba-Father is watching out for us. He is taking good care of us. He is forging for us a future that will resemble what we had feared but which will soon produce special blessings that we cannot yet imagine. Rather than dread the future we fear, we can look for the blessings. Every little blessing is evidence that a very big blessing is waiting for us. Rejoice in this truth. Give God your thanks for it now; don’t wait until the fog clears. This exchange of love will lift your spirits. And then this too will become one of the blessings you get to enjoy.
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© 2020 by Terry A. Modica
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