Do you remember crying because your daddy wasn’t there for you when you needed him? Or your mama? You’ve been carrying around a father-wound and a mother-wound that God wants to heal. Let me introduce you to Abba-Daddy Who Wipes Away Your Tears.

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17b-19 NIV)

My earliest memory is a scene in the kitchen. From my seat in the baby’s high chair, I see Mommy washing dishes. Daddy comes into the room demanding that she serve him a bowl of “wife-dipped” ice cream. I’m not old enough to understand why the tone of his voice disturbs me nor why Mommy gets upset. What I do remember—and rather vividly—is a ball of ice cream flying across the room, thrust from her spoon toward my father.

Although loud fighting was not common in my childhood home, their quarrel that day became permanently etched in my psyche. Sixty-plus years later, I still tense up in when I witness people argue loudly with each other. I want to intervene. I want to bring peace. And at the same time, I feel completely incapable of making a difference because deep inside I’m still that two-year-old surprised by the scoop of ice cream flying across the room.

The next life-changing event that I remember occurred four years later. At six years old, a child’s brain develops an ability to understand her environment and reason out what’s good, what’s bad, and what should be but is not. At six years old, I came to a devastating conclusion: My daddy was not the warm, friendly, understanding, compassionate listener that I needed him to be. Whatever triggered this realization is lost in the past, but I remember grieving deeply and making the decision, which held for the rest of my life, that I would never again call him “Daddy”. The name didn’t fit. “Dad” was more acceptable. It felt less intimate. It acknowledged his fatherhood while representing the sad lack of father-daughter closeness.

My dad was basically a good father. His flaws tell only part of the story. He loved his wife and children dearly, and I knew it. He was not abusive. He made it a priority to attend my school events. He figured out ways for the family to have fun together, including awesome vacations, despite being poor. He taught us how to have a balanced life. And most importantly, with my mother he introduced me to Christ and taught me to pray.

The problem was: I had discovered that my father was not The Father.


Day 1 on the journey includes:

  1. Seeking Abba-Father
  2. Created to be loved
  3. We all need healing
  4. Abba-Father wants to heal your heart

This book is written to introduce you to Daddy-Who-Wipes-Away-Your-Tears. In whatever ways your parents and other authority figures have failed to represent Father God’s true nature, he wants to enter into your heart more deeply and heal you. He wants to enable you to receive from him more of the goodness and love that you long for. He has been waiting for this day. He is inviting you to reach out to him and accept more from him — more than you know is possible.

 

© 2021 by Terry A. Modica

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Phil
Phil
Guest
October 19, 2020 11:05 am

Hi there I would say that my relationship with my parents were different than my four brothers. I was treated differently like the black sheep of the family. They were too overprotective of me. My father wasn’t a emotional person but he cared very much for his family. My mom was the glue that held the family together. It was only that I left home that my relationship with mom blossomed. She passed away 23 years ago this October and it’s never a day I don’t think of her. One last thought: our parish priest always reminds there’s always one person who’ll always love you: that’s God. Looking forward to the day I go home and seeing God and saying to him thanks for loving and accepting me for who our am. God is love.

Thanks

Phil 😊🇨🇦

J L
J L
Guest
October 6, 2020 6:27 pm

This first chapter was an interesting read, so I took time to consider how I viewed my parents. Now I’m in my late 70s and my parents died many years ago – my Mother when I was 3 and my Dad when I was 12. I have no memory of my Mom and I have always thought of him as the best of fathers. I remember him as kind and loving but, Interestingly, I can not recall hugs, nor do I recall punishment or anger on his part. Our step-mother was met with hostility by me and my 4 siblings. Yes, i was rebellious/disobedient in many ways and carried on a love/hate relationship through my teens. Once out of the house that attitude gradually changed as i recognized the tremedous difficulties she face. As I reflected here I would say I reacted by “loving from afar” and it has stayed with me to some degree in many relationships, including [especially] my relationship with God – Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Mary
Mary
Guest
September 29, 2020 1:08 pm

I like the additions using people’s comments. Really makes things much more personal and easier to relate to other’s feelings.